Kim K. chose a boy. Chrissy T. chose a girl. Dave and I did not choose the sex of our baby (more on that one day), but we have known the sex of our 5 (now 3) frozen embryos since August 2014. I have gone back and forth on this for quite some time- are you playing God? Shouldn’t you let it be a surprise? Why is one sex better than the other? But you know what, IVF babies are all miracles. IVF is science and what we know and see compared to other couples who have a baby naturally, is another world of its own.
If you have not been through the process, you are probably wondering how our doctors know the sex of our embryos. It is called “CCS or PGD testing.” Our first IVF we did not get this done (our 1st doctor didn’t offer us this) and we ended up with a chemical pregnancy. When you do IUI, you cannot get this done and we ended up with a miscarriage (and 2 other failed cycles). With our one natural pregnancy, we ended up with an ectopic pregnancy. See a pattern here? The only reason we chose CCS testing was for a healthy and chromosomal normal embryo. We wanted to reduce our miscarriage rate and improve our implantation rate, it really was an easy decision. We did not get this done to find out the sex of our babies but honestly, it was a huge bonus for us. We needed the light at the end of the tunnel and by knowing what we had waiting for us made it that much better. It gave us Hope. You cannot “create” the sex you want- remember that. We are given what God gives us. Also remember, not all of the embryos we start with, we end with. Dave and I had 13 embryos to start but after days of growing and testing, we only ended up to 5 that could be frozen. It is quite the process!
There has been a lot of controversy in the last day or so because of Chrissy Teigen coming out saying they chose to put a girl embryo in. And who cares?! She went through all the tests, needles, ultrasounds, egg retrieval. She went through the months or years of trying to get pregnant and the emotions that go with that. It is her body and her decision to do what she wants with her frozen, healthy embryos. This is a beautiful and exciting time in her life and anyone else who has done IVF and is finally pregnant, why do we have to bring their decision down?
I have had friends who just wanted the strongest embryos, (embryos are graded by assessing the quality of cell numbers and cell regularity to name a few), put in without knowing the sex that was chosen, some have chosen what sex they want and some have chosen to not even know what sex all of their embryos are. To each their own.
I understand that you may disagree with my opinion, and that is OK. I would love to hear what you think, so message me! If you haven’t been through IVF and infertility treatments, you will not understand 100% where I am coming from. At the end of the day, I am just glad that celebrities are starting the conversation on infertility and helping so many feel they are not alone.
You are SO amazing. We will be starting the IVF process in a month, and I have learned more from you and your blog than I can find by trying to educate myself on the internet! Hugs, Maggie
Exactly – who cares!! People find out the sex of their baby when they’re pregnant all the time and everybody has a preference no matter what they, even if it’s just minor. While we weren’t aware of genetic testing when our process began last year so missed out on PGS, during our concurrent process of international adoption we did request a girl ( ironically to find out that girls are the most popular… ironic in a world that is so dominated by men and with so many societies making boys more important than girls from day one).