Being a mommy is a lot harder than I ever thought. We are currently on our 4th (and hopefully final) formula and 3rd type of bottle. Breastfeeding didn’t work for us and I beat myself up over it. She is still sleeping in her rock n play next to me and many nights I spend a good hour with my hand holding her nuk in to try to get her to sleep. She sometimes will scream her head off when I change her. She pees, poops and spits up on me. I suck boogers out of her nose. She hates to be cold after a bath, no matter how warm I get her and relaxed during a bath…she’s a nightmare for the 1.5 minutes it takes me to dress her after.
But she is perfect. She is healthy, happy most of the time, has the best laugh and smile I have ever seen. She knows I’m her mommy..you can see it in her eyes. I am the one who can soothe her and make her feel at home. It is a 24/7 job and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have learned in the short 9 weeks I have had her is we all need to stop beating ourselves up. We are doing the best we can to survive and be the best parents to our babies. We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other and support each other instead. We need to give advice when asked and stay quiet when a mom just wants someone to listen. If we cannot pick up the vacuum for one day, it is ok. Some days I can’t shower until 3pm and I eat with her on my lap. I will cry with her sometimes and do anything to get her to sleep somewhere besides my arms. And some days I can shower, clean and eat in silence all in one morning. It is ok. You are doing the best you can.
You need a date night with your husband. It is so important for your marriage and sanity. I never understood the meaning that it takes a village to raise a child..but it does. Without my family and close friends, I would have gone crazy! My husband works at home…that means we are pretty much ALWAYS together. That is not healthy especially with a newborn. We need time alone too. He has his nights at crossfit and refs football and I will have dinners with the girls, get a manicure or a quiet trip to target. (My favorite thing to do!)
It is ok to ask for a breather, to sit in your car to just be in silence or have a good cry. I’m a new mom and only have one child so I give major props to my friends who stay at home with their kids or have 2, 3 and 4 babies! You all rock!! Whether you have 1 or 5, you are working your a$$ off. You got this and as I have heard by so many good friends lately: “It will get better!!”