Felt like I was in a nightmare.

Morning all 🙂 I wanted to write this post last week but it was my sister’s wedding week! (Will write a post later, but it was amazing!)

For those of you who read my whole post last time, which I don’t blame you if you didn’t because it was a novel ha! You read that we found out a few weeks ago we became pregnant on our own and the pregnancy would most likely not last due to a few must have factors for a viable pregnancy. What came next was a shock and nightmare.

As I mentioned, my HGC numbers started going down, as we expected and what was supposed to happen. When I went back for my 3rd blood test, the numbers started going up again- which you think would be good but it is not. HCG numbers should double every 24-48 hours to show the pregnancy is moving along. My numbers went from 80 something to 106. What does this mean? It could mean a few things- sometimes it spikes up to go back down (which happened in my last chemical pregnancy in 2013). It could also mean- a tubular pregnancy, also known to most as Ectopic. It is when the embryo is growing in your fallopian tube or somewhere else besides the uterus, which could is very dangerous and could be deadly.

When the doctor first called to explain this, I wasn’t worried as this happened before and my numbers went back down the next visit. Not this time. I continued to go back almost every day/other day for a week and my numbers were staying the same. My doctor gave me 1 more day of tests to see if it would come down before we had to make some drastic decisions. I went in on Friday, October 3rd and my numbers went down- AMEN! I was relieved and felt like we finally got good news, now I can focus on the wedding.

Monday- October 6th- I received the worst call of my life- my numbers went back up. This is the week of my sister’s wedding, my birthday- are you kidding me?! I lost it- I was crying and screaming. How is this happening?! I was in shock.

There are 2 things that my doctor could do-

1. Remove one of my fallopian tubes. This was something I obviously did not want to happen and Thank God, my doctor think that I needed this.

2. Administer two shots in my back called Methotrexate. How does it work? Methotrexate stops the growth of rapidly dividing cells, such as embryonic, fetal, and early placenta cells. It is a small dose of a chemo like medicine, it is so strong, you cannot try for a baby for 3 months after having the shot. It has side effects such as cramping, bleeding, mouth sores and makes your eyes sting.

On 10/6 with my husband at my side, I was given this shot twice in my back. The nurse had to wear a mask, 2 pairs of gloves and a special jacket to give it to me. It didn’t really hurt- I’m used to shots now, but I was scared, frustrated, confused and upset. I held on to my husband’s hands and did what I had to do.

I had cramping. I had lots of bleeding (TMI). I am starting to get mouth sores. But I survived and will continue to fight this.  All I wanted to do was hide and get away from it all. But I had my birthday dinner and a weekend of  celebrations and I am so happy I did. I was able to get my mind off of everything and smile. (I could not drink a sip of alcohol at my sister’s wedding due to this shot- another bummer!)

My numbers are finally going down as of yesterday (yay!) but I have to continue to be monitored until they are at 0.  So from now until January, I am going to enjoy my husband, pup and family. We make take a trip in December to get away and enjoy each other. I plan on drinking (when I can again! lol), and just having a good time. I will be back at it in January- I have 5 embryos waiting. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Felt like I was in a nightmare.

  1. Bryttany Gardner

    You are sooo incredibly strong and such an inspiration. Stay strong and keep that smile! Your embryos are waiting!


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